I am my father's daughter ;)

I have cried more in this past week than I’ve cried in the past few months!

I’ve cried for myself,

      for my family,

and for my friends…

I have been clinging to the Lord’s promises,

begging that He would come through for my loved ones and for me.

And you know what?

While I still don’t know his purpose for all of this, I have felt his healing hand rest upon my heart, telling me that it’s all going to be okay…

Praise God for that :]

And heck, while I’m at it…

Praise God for his word!

…I’d be completely lost and hopeless without it.

Praise God for encouragement!
…Seriously, what would I do without my dear friends and fam?!

Praise God for the transition of seasons! For the brisk air and the gorgeous colors!
…I see God’s love so powerfully displayed through nature. I’d like to think that while circumstances are rough, He still wants to give me reasons to smile. Give me orangy/red & green trees, and He’s got me. Oh yes, he loves me that much ;)

Anyways, I’m doing pretty well now! :] Seriously, I’m finding it easier to be hopeful and joyful.

But I will say that if there is one thing that I’m learning through all this, it is:

When situations seem hopeless, you have to choose.

First, you can either acknowledge the hurt, or pretend like it doesn’t exist. It’s no one’s choice but yours.

For me, this is always so hard. When I acknowledge pain, I feel weak… and who wants to feel weak? Definitely not me! Most people try to prove the opposite! “I’m tough!” “I can handle it!” “I’ve got it all together!” But how often is that so far from the truth?

I’m reading a book called Wild At Heart, written particularly for men. It’s super helpful for women to read too though!! If you feel like you just don’t understand certain things about your boyfriend, your fiancé, your husband, or your sons, reading this book might be a step in the right direction. It isn’t just for men! I’m finding it extremely helpful. Now, with that being said, this is related to what I was saying earlier, I promise.

In Wild At Heart, John Elderidge talks specifically about wounds. Because I can’t say it better than he, I’m just going to copy and paste an excerpt from the book:

“Men are taught over and over when they are boys that a wound that hurts is shameful,” notes Bly. “A wound that stops you from continuing to play is a girlish wound. He who is truly a man keeps walking, dragging his guts behind.” Like a man who’s broken his leg in a marathon, he finishes the race even if he has to crawl and he doesn’t say a word about it. That sort of misunderstanding is why for most of us, our wound is an immense source of shame. A man’s not supposed to get hurt; he’s certainly not supposed to let it really matter. We’ve seen too many movies where the good guy takes an arrow, just breaks it off, and keeps on fighting; or maybe he gets shot but is still able to leap across a canyon and get the bad guys. And so most men minimize their wound. “lt’s not a big deal. Lots of people get hurt when they’re young. I’m okay.” King David (a guy who’s hardly a pushover) doesn’t act like that at all. “I am poor and needy,” he confesses openly, “and my heart is wounded within me” (Ps. 109:22).

Or perhaps they’ll admit it happened, but deny it was a wound because they deserved it….

God is fiercely committed to you, to the restoration and release of your masculine heart. But a wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you’ve embraced is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you think you deserved is a wound that cannot heal. That is why Brennan Manning says, “The spiritual life begins with the acceptance of our wounded self.” Really? How can that be? The reason is simple: “Whatever is denied cannot be healed.”

While Elderidge is talking specifically about men and a certain kinds of wound that only they receive (usually from their fathers), I think the general idea can be applied to women as well. I don’t know about all you other women out there, but I still really relate to what he’s saying!

After we acknowledge that we are wounded (and as we’ve read, that is the way to go if we want to heal!), we can choose to believe what God says, or what Satan says.

Satan says God has forsaken us. He is not powerful enough to come through for us. He doesn’t care about us.

Well, let me tell you, the Bible says very different things.

It is so much easier to believe what Satan wants us to believe. We want to see God come through now and when he doesn’t, we give up on Him. In our impatience however, we miss the process, and honestly, the blessing, of total reliance on God.

If you’re in a dark place, go to the Lord. Search His word for promises, and cry out to Him to fulfill them. There is nothing like seeing a prayer answered, or experiencing the “peace that passes understanding.” It’s seriously the best.

Welp! I think I must take after my Dad, because I’m preachin! Hahah, I apologize for going on. But I do hope that this has been somewhat encouraging to someone out there! I will stop now!

SO! On a different note, this week has been good! Quick recap:

• Teaching at the Friendship house was awesome this week… The boys were tough again, but the girls seriously light up when they learn new steps and when we acknowledge their success! Keep praying for the guys!
• Math went well this week! I’m going through some ACT questions with them. I only had 2 students participating this time, but they were respectful at least. Pray that they are internalizing this for themselves and not just mindlessly copying down what I’m telling them!
• Love date nights with the fiancé!  :] We’re about to start reading some books together, so pray that we learn more about one another and honor Christ in our relationship always!
• Halleluyer, my table and chairs are almost finished!! It’s seriously adorable. Now I just need some seat cushions, and I’ll have the best looking dining room set in Peoria ;)
• I GOT A 2^ND JOB!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! :] I will now be working at a little boutique called the Hyacinth!!!
• Yesterday was the CHRIS JONES EVENT! And it was seriously SO awesome! Oh my goodness… I’m completely sore, but we had a better turn out than what we were expecting, and we got to hang out with Chris all day! He is tight with people like Justin Timberlake and other famous celebrities, so it was so cool to get to ask him questions and learn more about life as a professional dancer. I think we were all incredibly inspired and encouraged after the class... I sure was :]

Ya’ll. God is good. I’m so thankful! Chances are if you’re reading this, I really love you. So you should probably text, call, or message me, because I’d love to talk with you! :D